Lady Godiva's Hymn is a fond memory of mine from studying
engineering (1997-2004). Make sure to continue the tradition.
Godiva was a lady who through coventry did ride.
To show to all the villagers her lovely lilly white hide.
The most observant villager, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one that noticed that Godiva road a horse.
An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the Artsman, "Match me drink for drink and prove that you're a man."
They drank three drinks, the Artsman died, his face was turning green.
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline"!
Contributed Verses
Please note that some of the verses posted here may be considered offensive
by some. This is a song that is often sung when students get drunk and roudy...
The author makes not judgement on the quality of some of the contributed verses.
The purpose of this page is to collect verses, not to evaluate them.
Here is a verse sent to me by a fellow engineering student from
University of Toronto [2]. This verse came from a bunch of dedicated engineering
students who composed this verse to celebrate when they stole the Queen's
University Greesepole in 2000, and held onto it for a few months. (The Queen's
Greese Pole is actually one of the old steel Football uprights from UofT, that
Queen's engineering students stole and never returned, over 50 years
ago).
For 50 years the Engineers at Queen's have had our pole
From Varsity they stole it, and for Frosh week was it's role
But 28 of our own went down and with a cunning plan
They opened up an unlocked door, and brought it home again.
Here are some verses sent to me by an Army Engineer from Bosnia [1].
I guess instead of "Artsies" and "Aggies", they have
their own sworn foe: the nefarious "Tankers":
A tanker and a Engineer we sipping out of cans
The tanker told the engineer out drink me if you can
the tanker took one sip and his face turned olive green
the enginner keep drinking it was only gasoline!!
I heard a story once from a MP friend of mine
He got called to a local bar they called it the front line
when he got there he saw 20 tanker against the wall
And one angry engineer just a whooping them all
My father was a miner in the upper malamute
My mother was hostess in a house of illrepute
They kicked me out of house and home in my tender years
I told them to go to hell and i joined the engineers!
Here are some verses sent to me by an Army Engineer [11] in the US
Forces.
My father was a Jailbird and he wore a striped suit
My mother was a hostes in the house of ill repute
when I was only 16 and in my tender years
she said get out of the house you son of a bitch and join the engineers.
We build all your bridges and we fix your roads too
There's not a thing in the whole wide world an engineer can't do
When your head is empty and your heart is full of fear
The first word out of your fucking mouth is call an engineer
Here are couple verses sent to me by a combat engineer in the US
Army Corps of Engineers. [4]
We plan and build your barriers and build your bunkers too.
In each and every war we prove what Engineers can do.
For in the thick of every fight, the cry has been for years,
Come clear the pass and save our ass, you Combat Engineers.
We build and blow your bridges and we fix your roads up too.
There ain't too many things in life an Engineer can't do.
You never seem to need us till your hearts are filled with fear.
Then the first thing you call up are the Combat Engineers.
Miscellenous verses from engineering students [13]. The little star
beside each verse indicates who contributed it.
We drink and drink and drink and drink and we are Engineers. *
We drink and drink and we'll kick your ass if you try to steal our beer.
We drink and drink and drink and drink and throw up on the floor.
Then we brush our teeth and drink and drink and drink and drink some more!!!
Ths verse was sent to me by a poor engineering student from
Carlton University that had just done a bit too much thermodynamics
homework one night [10]. No more sensitivity training for this one; this
poor guy needed a drink!
The modern engineer must be politically correct,
No more motors lubricating, no more buildings rise erect,
No more electrical capacitors whose plates are high and fair
Instead of problem solving let's just sit around and care.
For many engineering students there is a fine tradition of trying
belittle would-be-engineers from other schools. Here is a verse that was
sent to me an engineering student at University of New Brunswick
[12]:
UNB was UNB when Dal was just a pup
and UNB will be UNB when DalTech's time is up
If any DalTech bastard even thinks he's in our class
he can bend right over and kiss sir Edmund's ass!
Here are some verses sent to me by some engineering students at Queen's University (home of the grease pole) and MIT
[9]. (I personally find these verses quite offensive and/or stupid, but for the
sake of completeness I have included them.) Read on further down this webpage
for some MUCH better verses from MIT.
Godiva was a lady well-endowed there was no doubt.
She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man who ever made her was an Engineer of course,
But an Artsie queer, on just one beer once made Godiva's horse.
Below is an adaptation of the above verse which is a little less
offensive - supplied by a University of Toronto engineering
student. [3]
Godiva was a lady well-endowed there was no doubt.
She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man who ever made her was an Engineer of course,
But on just one drink, an Artsie fink once made Godiva's horse.
Apparently, the last line of the original verse was also often sang by slightly differently by UofT students [5]:
"But an Artsie queer, on just one beer once made Godiva's horse", just like the Queen's Grad!
A Commie and an Engineer were stranded on a boat,
One person too heavy though, the poor boat wouldn't float.
The Engineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,
So she flipped it in the water and the Commie gave pursuit.
Elvis was a legend; he's the King of Rock 'n Roll,
But the life he was leading - well, it finally took its toll.
He realized too late, he'd choose the wrong career,
So he faked his death and came to Queen's - now he's an Engineer!
Some more verses from MIT
Engineering Students [6,7,8]. I found this treasure-trove of verses on some
websites at MIT back in late 2001. Apparently this is how they sing it at
MIT!
Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride
To show the royal villagers her fine and pure white hide
The most observant man of all, an engineer of course,
Was the only one who noticed that Godiva rode a horse
She said, "I've come a long, long way, and I will go as far
With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar
The man who took her from her steed and lead her to a beer
Was a bleary-eyed surveyor and a drunken engineer
Godiva was a lady well-endowed there is no doubt
She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about
The first man who did make her was a Engineer, of course,
But on just one beer an artsie queer had made Godiva's horse
A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park
The Engineer was working on some research after dark
His scientific method was a marvel to observe
While his right hand held the figures, his left hand traced the curves
Princeton's run by Wellesley, and Wellesley's run by Yale
And Yale is run by Vassar, and Vassar's run by tail
Harvard's run by stiff pricks, the kind you raise by hand
But M.I.T. is run by Engineers, the finest in the land
MIT was MIT when Harvard was a pup
And MIT will be MIT when Harvard's time is up
And any Harvard Son of a Bitch who thinks he's in our class
Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss the beaver's ass
An MIT surveyor once found the gates of Hell
He looked the devil in the eye, and said "You're looking well"
The devil looked right back at him, and said "Why visit me -
You've been through Hell already; you went to MIT!"
That engineer from MIT, he tried to enter heaven
Saint Peter told the engineer, "Get back to building 7!"
The engineer said he was damned if he was going home,
So he climbed atop the roof, and dropped through heaven's dome...
The firehose by day and forty beers by night,
An engineer may never sleep and still be just as bright.
And should you ever ask him how he keeps up his routine,
he'll raise his trusty can of JOLT, smile and say "caffeine"
Ace towing roams the Cambridge streets each day and every night
Towing cars and stowing cars to hide them out of sight
They tried to tow Godiva's horse; the Engineers said, "Hey!"
Then towed away their towing truck, and now the Ace must pay!
A graduate in Chemistry went out to take a stroll
Along the Up Chuck River bank, where all the compounds roll.
That day she felt dejected at the bursting of her dream,
For she couldn't find a single trace of water in the stream.
A Physics man from MIT went out and drank his fill.
And then came to a strip joint, 'cause he had some time to kill.
The motions that he witnessed there excited all his nerves,
And he filled eleven napkins with equations of the curves.
A man sat in a tavern with a lovely Cambridge lass
And stared when for the nineteenth time she raised and drained her glass
He said "You've out drunk four strong men, and half the bar, my dear."
But the maiden smiled demurely and said "I'm an engineer."
I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my suprise she told me that she had never been kissed,
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering Scientist.
A Harvard lad in robes was clad and set to graduate.
A pompous gleaming spectacle he was upon that date.
But not a quarter hour after he got his degree,
he was serving fries to engineers from good old MIT!
At Vassar, Smith, and Wellesley there are countless untruths told
About how women engineers are frigid, strange, and cold.
But truth be told men look for lady engineers of course
And sleep with women who study friction, motion, stress, and force.
An engineer and his girlfriend were lying on a bed
She reached down to unzip his fly so she could give him head
But when she wouldn't swallow, the engineer did shout
"How can you say you love me if you spit my children out!"
Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho
The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first
Caesar set out for Egypt at the age of fifty-three
But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free
And every night when Julius said good-night at three o'clock
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block!
Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed out that way
But the Engineers had beat them, by a night and half a day,
And though as drunk as ptarmigans, you could still hear them say:
The Army and the Navy went out to have some fun
They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run
But all they found were empties for the Engineers had come
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum
An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can
Said the artsman, "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man."
They drank three drinks, the artsman fell, his face was turning green
But the Engineer drank on and said, ""It's only gasoline!"
An Engineer once stumbled through the halls of Building 10
That night he'd drunken rum enough to drown a dozen men
In fact, the only things there were that kept him on his course
Were the boundary conditions and the Coriolis force
An MIT computer man got drunk one fateful night
He opened up the console and smashed everything in sight
When they finally subdued him, the judge he stood before,
Said, "Lock him up for twenty years, he's rotten to the core!"
Venus was a statue made entirely of stone
Without a stitch upon her she was naked as a bone
On seeing that she had no clothes, and Engineer discoursed
"Why, the damn thing's only concrete, and should be reinforced!"
A friend in ol' New Haven called me up the other day.
He said he was depressed because he hadn't got an A.
I said to him, "You idiot! Why did you go to Yale?
If you had come to MIT you'd still be on Pass/Fail!"
If we should find a Harvard man within our sacred walls,
We'll take him to the Physics lab and amputate his balls
And if he hollers "Uncle!", I'll tell you what we'll do
We'll stuff his ass with broken glass, and seal it up with glue
My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole
My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear
But they don't even speak to me, 'cause I'm an Engineer
And should there be a Harvard man a-strolling our Great Court
We'll fetch a pail of river gunk and make him drink a quart
The water of the River Charles can fix his every flaw
And the Engineers all drink it 'cause it makes us what we are
Late one night, an engineer was lost in work and toil,
He set off to find a darling girl to help discharge his coil.
In no time at all he'd warmed her up, her resistance at a low...
They fluxed until the morning's light, when their fuses, they did blow.
My parents went to MIT and so did their's before
And this is what they told me when they left me at the door
You'll never be the same again, that much we now can tell
'Cause when you're done with MIT you'll know you've been through hell
My father was a miner from the Northern Malamute
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute
The last time I saw them, these words rang in my ears,
"GO TO MIT YOU SON OF A BITCH, AND JOIN THE ENGINEERS!"
We'd like to welcome all the parents here to MIT
But there are lots and lots of things we don't want you to see
like sex & drugs & rock & roll, and kegs and kegs (overflowing kegs) of beer
But we would never touch the stuff cause we're the engineers
At finals time some undergrads went to the Thirsty Ear
each approached the bar in turn and ordered forty beers
The drinking washed away the test, the answers surely wrong
as the engineers regained their strength they sang their fav'rite song
We heard the 041 professor's ending his career
We thought we'd help him celebrate and bring a keg of beer
but when we thought that we would have to share it with you all
We thought about it once again and drank it in the hall
We saved our dough for years to send the kid to MIT
Although we knew it was a place of wild depravity
But now we know our kid is safe and we should have no fear
He's never even heard of Sex cause he's an engineer
Through .111, Unified, Course 6 and Course 16
Problem sets that kicked our butts, Professors who were mean
You'd think with all this pain and grief, we'd race right out the door
But we've all completely lost our minds, we're coming back for more
Professors put demands on us, they say we have to too,
but all we want to do is sleep, WE HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL!
You can bitch or tell us off, abuse us if you please,
but we're all set to graduate and ALL WE NEED ARE C'S!!!
Bad Taste
My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole
My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole
My uncle plays with little girls, my Auntie raped a steer
But they don't even speak to me, 'cause I'm an Engineer
Fornication, Copulation, Penetration, Fuck
Rim job, reem job, nose job, blow job, cunnilingus, Suck
Eating beaver, dipping wick, taking it up the rear;
these words don't mean a thing to me cause I'm an engineer
I am a whore from Radcliffe and I fuck for fifty cents
I'll lay my ass upon the grass, my pants upon the fence
I'll let you rub my belly and, on sundays fuck for free.
But get off of me you son of a B, if you're from MIT!
motion, friction, stress and force
I've heard that sex with Chuckie Vest is really quite a treat
He walks around in lingirie and tickles becky's feet
I know my sex life needs a lift, but easy as he may be
I'd rather do the beaver than the king of MIT!
I've heard that sex with Becky Vest is really quite a treat
Se walks around in leather and she plays with chuckie's feet
I know my sex life needs a lift, but easy as she may be
I'd rather do the beaver than the queen of MIT!
Here is a version from the "Facult? Polytechnique de Mons",
an engineering school in Belgium [14]:
We are, we are, we are, we are the engineers
Ca can, we can, we can demolish forty beers
The medical men of R.S.M. they cannot drink with us
Because we don't give a fuck
For anyone else
Who don't give a fuck for us
Oh!
Sir Franics Drake and all his crew
Set sail for Galway Bay,br>
To meet the Spanish Rumfleet
That was heading by the way
The engineers gave cut them short
By night and half a day
Although they're drunk like hooligans
You still can hear them say...
Godiva was a lady
who through coventry did ride
To show to all the villager
Her skin so pure and white
The most observing man in town
An engineers of course
Was the only one who noticed
That Godiva rode a horse
I've come a long long way she said
A man may go as far
And get me off this bloody horse
And lead me to the bar
The man that got her off her horse
And stood her two beer
Were a bloodshoteyed surveyor
And a drunken engineer
Here is a verse sent to me by Peter Allaby from University of New
Brunswick [15]
The bright and eager leave theirs nests for schools across the land,
Proving skill with brains and will, a mighty task at hand,
To raise their glasses while passing classes for nothing short of four years
All fell on their ass and failed the task, but the UNB ENGINEERS!
Thanks to Leona Smith, from University of Toronto, for sending me these verses [16]:
Industrial's have got the dates and that's a known fact
It's not the way they part their hair, it's not the way they act
It's that they're such good lovers with that extra special touch,
Since you'd have to get that skillful when you fuck the dog so much
[ed: "Industrial" is a term referring to an industrial engineering student.]
The artsie thought he had it all, his girlfriend disagreed.
One day she up and left him: He could not fulfill her needs.
"Where are you going?" the artsie cried, half-naked from the dorm,
"To find an engineer," she said, "At least they can perform!"
Now you've heard our story and you know we're engineers,
We love to hate our problem sets, we love to drink our beers.
We drink to every person who comes here from far and near,
'Cause we're a HELL-OF-A,HELL-OF-A,HELL-OF-A,HELL-OF-A,HELL-OF-AN-ENGINEER!!!!
Thanks to Paddy Cooke, a retired engineer from Iceland for sending me these. Apparently these are sung at "UCD" (University College Dublin). [17]:
Godiva woke next morning and she had an awful head,
To save herself from moving, she spent the day in bed.
The only ones to visit her, and bring her lots of beer,
Were a broken-down surveyor, and a blood shot engineer.
Godiva died, and where she lies, a bench-mark shows the spot,
In any engineering text, its level can be got.
Godiva's now in Heaven, where she daily prays for beer,
But she'll have to wait till Heaven gets a Resident Engineer.
Here are some verses sent to me by SSG Burke Rawson, a combat
engineer from the U.S. Army [18].
My father was a jailbird, he wore a jailbird suit
My mother was a waitress in a house of ill-repute
when I was just a young lad, they came and said to me
get out of this house you son-of-a-bi*** and join the infantry
chorus
They infantry wouldn't take me, that was music to my ears
so I want off and joined the combat engineers
[ incomplete, author cannot remember two next lines - ed.]
Thanks to Matthew McConnell an Mechanical Engineering student at
University of Louisville Speed School of Engineering (Louisville, Kentucky,
USA). Here is a verse they sing down there: [19]:
A UofL engineer once found the Gates of Hell
Looked the Devil in the eye and said, "You're Looking very Well"
Satan just returned the glare and said , " I am indeed,
You've been through Hell already since you went to Speed."
Paul Radcliffe from University of Toronto (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) sent
me a bunch of verses that they sing there [20].
Also have a look at at the UofT Engineering Society's Lady Godiva website at http://godiva.skule.ca.
The modern engineer must be politically correct,
No more motors lubricating, no more buildings rise erect,
No more electrical capacitors whose plates are high and fair
Instead of problem solving let's just sit around and care.
A wide-eyed Artsie Chemist and a Chemical Engineer
Were formulating molecule equations over beer.
Each drank a glass of water, but the Artsie hit the floor,
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4!
As legend goes an apple fell on poor Sir Isaac's head,
And Newtonian Mechanics then was born, took hold and spread.
Too bad he was a physicist and not an Engineer,
If he wore a hardhat, we'd have less class and more beer!
An Engineer once came to class so drunk and very late,
He stumbled through the lecture hall at an ever-diminishing rate.
The only things that held him up and kept him on his course,
Were the boundary condition and electromotive force.
In Arts and Sci and at York there are countless untruths told,
About how our women Engineers are frigid, strange and cold.
But truth be told men prefer lady Engineers, of course
And sleep with women learning friction, motion, stress and force.
Venus is a statue made entirely of stone,
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's as naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were gone, an Engineer discoursed,
"The damn thing's busted concrete and it should be reinforced."
Engineers made tribute to the Cannon's might and Skule,
Their cinematic expose turned out to be a jewel.
Soon after Innis was found bare and the campus rang with fear,
The Faculty of Film had been replaced with Engineers!
Other schools have mascots and they think that theirs is best,
But when it comes time, theirs do fail to pass the test.
Phallic imagery with mascots seems to be the norm,
But the Cannon is the only one that can truly perform!
The year that Mikey's double cohort came to UofT,
The Frosh were not just underaged, but knew no High School glee.
When the campus parties all went dry, SUDS still flowed with beers,
And those sober college Artsies thanked their God for Engineers.
When Mechs are feeling thirsty and when Civs are all worn out,
There's one place you can go, and that is SUDS without a doubt.
So next time you drink a rich, cold, golden, icy, frothy beer,
Get on your worthless knees and thank a Chemical Engineer!
We saved our dough for years to send the kid to UofT
Although we knew it was a place of wild depravity,
But now we know our kid is safe and we should have no fear
He's never even heard of sex cause he's an Engineer.
We'd like to welcome all the parents here to UofT,
But there are lots and lots of things we'd like you not to see.
Like sex and drugs and rock & roll, and kegs and kegs of beer,
But we would never touch the stuff 'cause we're the Engineers.
Ace Towing roams the streets of Yorkville each and every night,
They tow the cars, and stow the cars and hide them out of sight.
They tried to tow Godiva's Horse, the Engineers said "Hey!"
They towed away the towing truck, and now the Ace must pay.
A man sat in a tavern with a lovely Toronto lass
And stared when more than nineteen times she raised and drained her glass.
He said "You've outdrunk four strong men, and half the bar, my dear."
But the maiden smiled demurely and said she was an Engineer.
Elvis was a legend, he's the King of Rock & Roll,
But the life that he was leading, well it finally took its toll.
He realized too late that he chose the wrong career,
So he faked his death, and came to Skule to become an Engineer.
An artsie lad in robes was clad and set to graduate,
A pompous gleaming spectacle he was upon that date.
But not a quarter hour after he got his degree,
He was serving fries to engineers from S-K-U-L-E!
For 50 years the Engineers at Queens have had our pole,
From Varsity they took it, and their F!rosh week was its role,
But 28 of our own went down, and with a cunning plan
We opened up an unlocked door and brought it home again!
A UofT Engineer once found the gates of Hell,
Looked the devil in the eye and said, "You are looking well."
Satan just returned the glare and said, "Why visit me?"
You've been through Hell already, since you went to UofT!
Joe E. Skule is 100, but he has a heart of gold,
He gave the meds his Skule house when it was 94 years old.
The meds were very grateful, but they have problems with precision,
For they use those T-squares and dividers when making their incisions.
The Jerry P. Potts trophy for the chariot race at Skule
Had been stolen from the fold but Mario said, "Dis ain't cool".
So Mario recovered it, returned it to the throngs,
On the condition that the Skule mates sing his praises in their song.
UofT was UofT when Ryerson was a pup,
And UofT will be UofT when Ryerson's time is up,
And any Ryerson son of a bitch who thinks he's in our class,
Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss our purple ass!
An Eng Sci man from UofT went out and drank his fill.
He came then to a strip joint, 'cause he had some time to kill.
The motions that he witnessed there excited all his nerves,
And he filled eleven napkins with equations of the curves.
Thanks to K. Baoler of the Royal Engineers of the British Army in
the United Kingdom for the following verses. They call their song the
"Royal Engineers" song: [21]:
The Loggies thought that they could drink but that was just a farce.
We took them up into the bar and kicked their fucking arse.
So if you think you?re hard enough then grab yourself a beer.
Because you'll never out drink and never outfight a Royal Engineer.
We are, we are, we are, we are, the Royal Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can drink more than 40 beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, till its coming out our ears,
Rorks Drift in South Africa the Zulus came to call.
You British cunts lay down your guns were going to kill you all
At first they heard some laughter, and then they heard a cheer.
Of course we won't surrender, were Royal Engineers.
Napoleon was a warrior at the battle of Waterloo,
He always thought that Josephine was very very true.
The infantry was advancing; the loggies were in the rear,
And Josephine was entered by a Royal Engineer.
Saddam Hussein was the ruler of Iraq,
The coalition forces said "we can't be having that".
He found himself a little hole, and tried to disappear,
He didn?t want to fight with a Royal Engineer
Thanks to Rob Netopilik at the University of Toronto (Toronto,
Ontario, Canada) for this verse [22]:
The artscis flip our burgers and the life-scis count the change
They cut our grass they wipe our ass theres four years down the drain
When you see us pay respect and bown down so fucken low
We slam we mosh we're always sloshed we're the class of 1T0
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Thanks to Luca Gerace at the University of Toronto (Toronto,
Ontario, Canada) for this verse. Fall2007 was the Frosh year for Luca
Gerace's engineering studies. This is the "unofficial 1T1 (this
year's frosh) verse" [23]:
For decades first years have not been included in this tune
But the 1T1s decided we should change that very soon
We thought it was a great idea that nobody could quash
But the upper years just laughed at us and called us "SILLY FROSH"
This verse came from Rob Arntfield who was the president of the Engineering Students' Society at the University of Ottawa. [24]
They are they are they are they are our artsie peers
And although they say they do get laid they mainly group with queers
But to be PC you know that we can't call all of them sluts
So just flip 'em over, spread their cheeks and stick it in their butts.
[ed: PC = politically correct]
This verse came from Ti Kauth from the South Dakota School of Mines and
Technology [Rapid City, South Dakota, USA]. They always finish off the song
with this verse. [25]
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,
He was coming down the mountain in a blue and yellow Ford.
With one hand on the bottle and the other on the throttle,
Hal-le-lu-jah, HE'S AN ENGINEER!
This verse came from George Hammond at www.custom-tied.com (a company specializing in fishing gear,
located in the Pensylvania,USA). This is a verse he used to sing when he has part of an Combat Engineer company in the USA Army. [26]
We build all of your roads and we build your bridges too
To tell you the truth there aint alot that an Engineer can't do
So when your tanks are stuck and your grunts are full of tears
The next 3 words to come out of their mouth is "Send the Engineers".
This verse came from Charlie Miller-Moquin, who graduated from MIT in
1993. This verse works best of if you sing it with a bit of a Scottish
accent. [27]
Kooch was the best Engineer at MIT course 6;
With wires and transistors, he could show you many tricks.
With a glint in his eye, he would say: "Yes, it can be done:
It takes a gigawatt to turn a Wellsley woman on!"
These verses came from AJ Rosewarne, an engineering student at the University of Waterloo.
These are verses that he has heard sung at the McGill engineering campus in Montreal, Ontario, Canada.
[28]
(McGill Redmen vs. Concordia Stingers)
I'd rather be a Redmen than a fucking Bumble Bee
I'd rather be a genius than flip burgers at McD's
I wouldn't wipe my ass with that Concordia degree
So fuck you Bumble Bees!
(McGill Redmen vs. Queens Golden Gaels
I'd rather be a Redmen than a fucking Golden Gael
I'd rather drink at peel pub than spend a night in jail
I'd rather have a beer than a fucking ginger ale
So fuck you Golden Gaels!
The Golden boys are spending time in Kingston's biggest jail
For four years in Kingston-towne they're stuck there without bail
Where most Boys are known to have been blown by a Gale
So fuck you Golden Gaels!
Some more verses from AJ Rosewarne, an engineering student at the University of Waterloo (Waterloo, Ontario, Canada).
[29]
Inspired by Lady Godiva and her sadness at the plight of the poor in 11th
century England, the Engineering Hymn, in all its variations, is standard at
almost any engineering institution. Godiva's husband, Leofric, was a many of
power and could have alleviated the suffereing inflected on the destitute, had
he wanted to do so. He agreed to lower taxes at the request of his lovely
weife, but only if she would ride a horse completely naked through the streets
of Coventry. She did, but before her ride, she told the villagers of her plan
and asked that they not watch her. Since then, Godiva's legendary courage has
been the source of many works of art, including the Engineering Hymn. The
Engineering Hymn is most commonly heard during celebrations and as a drinking
song.
There are manyy different versese to the engineering hymn sung across Canada.
Those listed below are simply a collection of the most commonly heard.
Sung to the tune of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic".
Chorus:
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers
We can, we can , we can, we can demolish forty beers
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, so come along with us -
For we don't give a damn for any damn man who don't give a damn for us
Verses:
Godiva was a lday, who through Coventry did ride
To show to all the villagers who lovely bare white hide
The most observant villager, and engineer of course
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse
Said she, "I've come a long, long way, and will go as far
with the man thow takes of from this horse and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her from her steed and stood her to a beer
Were a burry-eyed surveyor and a drunken engineer!
Godiva woke next morning and she had an awful head,
Decided to be sneisble and spend the day in bed
The only ones to visit her and bring her lots of cheer
Were a the broken-down surveyor and the bloodshot engineer
Godiva died, and where she fell a benchmark marks the spot -
In any engineer text its level can be got.
And up in heaven everyday Godiva craves for beer, but
She'll have to wait until the gates let in the engineers!
An artsie and an engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the artsie, "Match me drhink for drink, as long as you can stand".
They drank three drinks, the artsie fell, his face was turning green:
But the engineer drank on and said, "its only gasoline".
An artise and an engineer were stranded in a boat.
One man above capacity; the poor thing would not float.
The engeineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,br>
So he flipped in it in the water and the artiside gave pursuit.
I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire,
To my surprise she told me that she never had been kissed,
For her boyfriends had been artsies or computer scientists!
My father was a minor in the northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill-repute.
They kicked me out at a tender age and never shed a tear -
They said, "Get out of here, you son-of-a-bitch, and join the engineers!"
My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear.
But they won't even speak to me 'cause I'm an engineer.
My mother is a hooker and my father pimps her out.
My brother shot his wife because she's always scream and shout.
My sister is a hippie, but they all call me a creep,br>
'Cause I'm an engineer, so I'm considered the black sheep
The army and the navey boys went out to have some fun.
Down at the local tavern where the fiery liquors run,br>
But all they found were empties, for the engineers had come
And traded all their instruments for gallon jugs of rum!
Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Clais Bay -
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet would be headed up that way.
But the engineers had beat them by a night and half a day
And though as drunk as they could be, you still could hear them say...
Caeser went to Egypt at the age of fifty-three,
But Cleopatra's blood was warn, her heart was young and free.
So every night when Julius said goodnight at three o'clock,
A roman engineer was waiting just around the block.
Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho
The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first.
Elvis was a legned; he's the King of Rock 'n Roll
But the life that he was leading - well, it finally took its toll.
He realized late that he had gone and chosen the wrong career:
So he faked his death, went back to schol - now he's an engineer.
The engineers of Peter the Great, who was a Russian Tsar,
While fixed up his palace, put a throne room in the bar
They lined the walls with vodka, rum, and forty kinds of beer,
And advanced the Russian culture by at least a hundred years.
A maiden and an engineer were sitting in the park,
The engineer was busy doing research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe!
While his right hand worked the figures out, his left hand traced the curves.
On reading Kama Sutra, they tried position nine.
For providing masculinity it truly was divine!
But then one day the girld rebelled, and threw him on his rear
For he was a feeble artsie, and she an engineer!
A man sat in a tabern with a lovely looking lass
And stared, when for the nineteenth time she raised and drained her glass.
He said "You've out-drunk four strong men, and half the bar, my dear."
But hte maiden smiled demurely and said, "I'm an engineer."
An engineer once came to class so drunk and very late,
He stumbled through the lecture hall and at ever-diministhing rate.
The only things that held him hpu, and kept him on his course,
Were the boundary condition and electromotive force.
Venus is a statue made entirely of stone -
There's not a fig leave on her, she's as naked as a bone.
On noticed her arms were gone, and engineer discoursed,
"The damn thing's busted concrete and it should be reinfoced!"
We love to sing, and drink, and sing: "We are the Engineers,"
Too bad if we've offended you with any of our cheers.
Sometimes we get too rowdy and we go harass the bands,
So you best make sure we always have a pitcher in our hands.
Now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers.
We love to hate our problem sets, we love to drink our beers.
We drink to every person who comes here for far and near,
'Cause we're a HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-AN ENGINEER!!!
Disclaimer: During Orientation Week, the more politically correct version of the Hymn will be used: [ed: yeah, right]
We are, we are, we are the Engineers
We can, we can, fix anything with gears
We word HARD, we play HARD, so come along with us....
For we don't give a dman for any dman man who don't give a damn for us!
These verses came from Phill Gibson, a mechanical engineering student at the
University of Western Ontario (London, Ontario, Canada).
[30]
An engineer and social sci were planning their big bet,
To see how many phone numbers each one of them could get,
The social sci said "I quit, can?t beat an engineer",
Women don?t want McDonalds they want a man with a career
An artsie and a social sci were sitting in a bar,
All they did was argue ?bout who had the faster car,
An engineer then stumbled in, drunk out of his tree,
He said, "You dumb fucks wouldn?t have a car if it wasn?t thanks to me!!!"
Johnny Depp and Russel Crowe are big time movie stars,
They date the hottest women and they drive the fastest cars.
But, ask them ?bout the afterlife and this is what you?ll hear,
"When we pass on to a better life, we hope we?re engineers."
Two engineers went in a bar to grab a drink of beer,
The barkeep grabbed two mugs and said "I?ll fill you boys with cheer".
The engineers said "barkeep put those cups back on the shelf....",
"We?re gettin drunk tonight; well take a keg just for ourselves."
If ya think that you?re and engineer, you?d better know this song,
You?ll take a shot and raise your beer and start to sing along.
We?re loud and crude but we don?t care, so listen over here,
I say, "What the fuck, at least I?m not an artsie queer!!!".
You might say that I?m an asshole, you might say that I am crude,
You might think that I am sexist, you might tell me that I?m rude.
Tell me to defend myself and this is what you?ll get,
"I?m an engineer, what the fuck did you expect!?!?!?!!"
These verses came from Jackie H., an engineering student at McMaster University (Hamilton, Ontario, Canada).
[31]
I have a verse that we sing sometimes at McMaster with the Redsuits, Super
Plumber, and Wonder Plumber, especially on our way home from long roadtrips to
strange and interesting pubs after we've all had a lot to drink and just want to
go to sleep.
(Sung slowly, drunkenly)
We're lost, we're lost, we're lost, we're lost, we don't know where we are
We came, we came, we came, we came, we came to find a bar
Don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come along with us
'Cause we don't know where the fuck we are, but FUCK, we're on a bus!
We also often substitute the main chorus' "We don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us" with:
We don't give a fuck for any old slut who won't give it up for us
OR
We don't give a fuck for any old fuck who can't get it up for us
I also made up one a couple years ago to thwart artsies on campus (Humanities
Reps!) who had developed their own "godiva verse" about engineers being sucky.
Something like "Engineers may have careers, but artsies have a life!". It hasn't
caught on too well, but if you're interested....
The artsies think they're clever and they try to make some cheers
To honour all the artsies and put down the engineers
But the engineers knew something that would surely hurt their pride
For they had just made up their cheer and ours was NATION WIDE!
The Artsies strike back! Rob McCann, a proud Artsci '81 grad from Queen's [Kingston, Ontario, Canada], sent this musical gem:
[32]
They are, they are, they are, they are, they are the engineers
Although they don't admit it, they are all a bunch of queers
Any Artsci can demolish twice as many beers
As any other mother fucker plumber engineer!
[ed: Rob added "I know, not PC, lame, and all the rest. But it does bring back fond memories!". Ah those drunken student days!]
Ben Sikkes, a soldier in an Engineer company in the United States army, sends this verse:
[33]
My mother was a hooker and my fathers a marine
My brother joined the navy just to sail the seven seas
But my father hes a jarhead and my brother he's a queer
Cause they didnt join the roughest batch the combat engineers!
Andrew Macdonald, an engineering student at McMaster University (Hamilton, Ontario) sent this verse:
[34]
If I went to Waterloo, I'd fear I'd lose my soul,
And if I went to Queen's I know I'd have to grease their pole,
At U. of T. they'd fire their fucking cannon up my ass,
But I went to Mac, I had to do all three and barely passed!
Some verses contributed by Nancy Cox from Georgia Tech. [35]
Lady Godiva into Atlanta did ride
To show off to the peasantry her snowy white behind.
One observant young fellow was an engineer of course
He's the only one who noticed that Godiva rode a horse.
Nancy also notes three verses they used to sing when driving their mascot "Rambin Wreck" (a restored 1930 Ford Model A Sport coupe).
I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech, and a hell of an engineer-
A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, hell of an engineer.
Like all the jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear.
I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer.
Oh! If I had a daughter, sir, I'd dress her in White and Gold,
And put her on the campus to cheer the brave and bold.
But if I had a son, sir, I'll tell you what he'd do-
He would yell, 'To hell with Georgia!' like his daddy used to do.
Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar three thousand pounds,
A college bell to put it in and a clapper to stir it round.
I'd drink to all the good fellows who come from far and near.
I'm a ramblin', gamblin', hell of an engineer!
(Read more about the Ramblin' Wreck and the Ramblin Wrek of Gerogia Tech song).
A: Go look up Lady Godiva of Coventry, and then sing some of the Standard Verses. You'll understand.