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Orchestral SummonsSYMPHONY ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL DEPORTMENT POLICE SUMMONS Name of offender: __________________ Date/Time of Offense __________ Instrument: ________________________ Location: _____________________ IMPERSONATING A PROFESSIONAL Fine __ Stupid Questions $10.00 __ Really Stupid Questions $25.00 __ Really Stupid Questions which increase rehearsal length $300.00 PRESUMPTIOUS FIRST YEAR BEHAVIOR __ Musicology $25.00 __ Historical Nitpicking $50.00 __ Obtrusive Foot-tapping $10.00 __ Uninvited Conducting $15.00 __ Questioning Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings $25.00 __ Comparing Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings with what Philadelphia Orchestra did under Ormandy $100.00 GENERAL TOADYING __ Insane Cackling at Conductor's bad jokes $50.00 __ Loud and forced horse laugh at Conductor's bad jokes $10.00 __ Unwarranted beatific smile while playing (strings) $40.00 __ Conspicous professional reading (e.g. International Musician, etc) $35.00 __ Stultifyingly minute bowing/breath questions $75.00 __ Conversing with conductor in a language other than English $95.00 __ Active and public nodding in agreement with conductor $35.00 __ Pencil behind ear $25.00 __ Conspicuous part marking $15.00 __ Letting pencil clatter on stand after conspicous part marking $500.00 __ Obvious, insipid consultation of conductor's score during break $150.00 __ reference to obscure recordings/ performances $90.00 __ Pretending to understand absurd metaphor $15.00 __ Understanding absurd metaphor $25.00 ANNOYING BEHAVIOR BY VETERANS __ Playing high notes louder than possible (brass) $25.00 __ Holding same 1/4 beat longer than everyone else (brass) $200.00 __ Discussing technique during rehearsal $100.00 __ Discussing technique during break $200.00 __ Discussing technique with guest artist (at any time) $500.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes $30.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (second hand) $60.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (first hand) $90.00 __ Naming yourself after a dead composer $50.00 __ Naming yourself after a live composer $100.00 __ Feigning European birth by 'lapsing' into foreign languages $150.00 GENERAL OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR __ Selling Amway $50.00 __ Inviting conductor to party $15.00 __ Inviting guest artist to party $100.00 __ Showing pictures of guest artist at party at first rehearsal after party $200.00 ____________________________ Signature of citing official ** FAILURE TO PAY FINES SHALL BE CAUSE FOR REVOCATION OF ARTISTIC LICENSE ** |
SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL DEPORTMENT POLICE SUMMONS Name of offender: __________________ Date/Time of Offense __________ Instrument: ________________________ Location: _____________________ IMPERSONATING A PROFESSIONAL Fine __ Stupid Questions $10.00 __ Really Stupid Questions $25.00 __ Really Stupid Questions which increase rehearsal length $300.00 PRESUMPTIOUS FIRST YEAR BEHAVIOR __ Musicology $25.00 __ Historical Nitpicking $50.00 __ Obtrusive Foot-tapping $10.00 __ Uninvited Conducting $15.00 __ Questioning Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings $25.00 __ Comparing Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings with what Philadelphia Orchestra did under Ormandy $100.00 GENERAL TOADYING __ Insane Cackling at Conductor's bad jokes $50.00 __ Loud and forced horse laugh at Conductor's bad jokes $10.00 __ Unwarranted beatific smile while playing (strings) $40.00 __ Conspicous professional reading (e.g. International Musician, etc) $35.00 __ Stultifyingly minute bowing/breath questions $75.00 __ Conversing with conductor in a language other than English $95.00 __ Active and public nodding in agreement with conductor $35.00 __ Pencil behind ear $25.00 __ Conspicuous part marking $15.00 __ Letting pencil clatter on stand after conspicous part marking $500.00 __ Obvious, insipid consultation of conductor's score during break $150.00 __ reference to obscure recordings/ performances $90.00 __ Pretending to understand absurd metaphor $15.00 __ Understanding absurd metaphor $25.00 ANNOYING BEHAVIOR BY VETERANS __ Playing high notes louder than possible (brass) $25.00 __ Holding same 1/4 beat longer than everyone else (brass) $200.00 __ Discussing technique during rehearsal $100.00 __ Discussing technique during break $200.00 __ Discussing technique with guest artist (at any time) $500.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes $30.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (second hand) $60.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (first hand) $90.00 __ Naming yourself after a dead composer $50.00 __ Naming yourself after a live composer $100.00 __ Feigning European birth by 'lapsing' into foreign languages $150.00 GENERAL OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR __ Selling Amway $50.00 __ Inviting conductor to party $15.00 __ Inviting guest artist to party $100.00 __ Showing pictures of guest artist at party at first rehearsal after party $200.00 ____________________________ Signature of citing official ** FAILURE TO PAY FINES SHALL BE CAUSE FOR REVOCATION OF ARTISTIC LICENSE **
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Orchestral SummonsSYMPHONY ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL DEPORTMENT POLICE SUMMONS Name of offender: __________________ Date/Time of Offense __________ Instrument: ________________________ Location: _____________________ IMPERSONATING A PROFESSIONAL Fine __ Stupid Questions $10.00 __ Really Stupid Questions $25.00 __ Really Stupid Questions which increase rehearsal length $300.00 PRESUMPTIOUS FIRST YEAR BEHAVIOR __ Musicology $25.00 __ Historical Nitpicking $50.00 __ Obtrusive Foot-tapping $10.00 __ Uninvited Conducting $15.00 __ Questioning Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings $25.00 __ Comparing Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings with what Philadelphia Orchestra did under Ormandy $100.00 GENERAL TOADYING __ Insane Cackling at Conductor's bad jokes $50.00 __ Loud and forced horse laugh at Conductor's bad jokes $10.00 __ Unwarranted beatific smile while playing (strings) $40.00 __ Conspicous professional reading (e.g. International Musician, etc) $35.00 __ Stultifyingly minute bowing/breath questions $75.00 __ Conversing with conductor in a language other than English $95.00 __ Active and public nodding in agreement with conductor $35.00 __ Pencil behind ear $25.00 __ Conspicuous part marking $15.00 __ Letting pencil clatter on stand after conspicous part marking $500.00 __ Obvious, insipid consultation of conductor's score during break $150.00 __ reference to obscure recordings/ performances $90.00 __ Pretending to understand absurd metaphor $15.00 __ Understanding absurd metaphor $25.00 ANNOYING BEHAVIOR BY VETERANS __ Playing high notes louder than possible (brass) $25.00 __ Holding same 1/4 beat longer than everyone else (brass) $200.00 __ Discussing technique during rehearsal $100.00 __ Discussing technique during break $200.00 __ Discussing technique with guest artist (at any time) $500.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes $30.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (second hand) $60.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (first hand) $90.00 __ Naming yourself after a dead composer $50.00 __ Naming yourself after a live composer $100.00 __ Feigning European birth by 'lapsing' into foreign languages $150.00 GENERAL OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR __ Selling Amway $50.00 __ Inviting conductor to party $15.00 __ Inviting guest artist to party $100.00 __ Showing pictures of guest artist at party at first rehearsal after party $200.00 ____________________________ Signature of citing official ** FAILURE TO PAY FINES SHALL BE CAUSE FOR REVOCATION OF ARTISTIC LICENSE ** |
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Orchestral SummonsSYMPHONY ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL DEPORTMENT POLICE SUMMONS Name of offender: __________________ Date/Time of Offense __________ Instrument: ________________________ Location: _____________________ IMPERSONATING A PROFESSIONAL Fine __ Stupid Questions $10.00 __ Really Stupid Questions $25.00 __ Really Stupid Questions which increase rehearsal length $300.00 PRESUMPTIOUS FIRST YEAR BEHAVIOR __ Musicology $25.00 __ Historical Nitpicking $50.00 __ Obtrusive Foot-tapping $10.00 __ Uninvited Conducting $15.00 __ Questioning Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings $25.00 __ Comparing Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings with what Philadelphia Orchestra did under Ormandy $100.00 GENERAL TOADYING __ Insane Cackling at Conductor's bad jokes $50.00 __ Loud and forced horse laugh at Conductor's bad jokes $10.00 __ Unwarranted beatific smile while playing (strings) $40.00 __ Conspicous professional reading (e.g. International Musician, etc) $35.00 __ Stultifyingly minute bowing/breath questions $75.00 __ Conversing with conductor in a language other than English $95.00 __ Active and public nodding in agreement with conductor $35.00 __ Pencil behind ear $25.00 __ Conspicuous part marking $15.00 __ Letting pencil clatter on stand after conspicous part marking $500.00 __ Obvious, insipid consultation of conductor's score during break $150.00 __ reference to obscure recordings/ performances $90.00 __ Pretending to understand absurd metaphor $15.00 __ Understanding absurd metaphor $25.00 ANNOYING BEHAVIOR BY VETERANS __ Playing high notes louder than possible (brass) $25.00 __ Holding same 1/4 beat longer than everyone else (brass) $200.00 __ Discussing technique during rehearsal $100.00 __ Discussing technique during break $200.00 __ Discussing technique with guest artist (at any time) $500.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes $30.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (second hand) $60.00 __ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (first hand) $90.00 __ Naming yourself after a dead composer $50.00 __ Naming yourself after a live composer $100.00 __ Feigning European birth by 'lapsing' into foreign languages $150.00 GENERAL OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR __ Selling Amway $50.00 __ Inviting conductor to party $15.00 __ Inviting guest artist to party $100.00 __ Showing pictures of guest artist at party at first rehearsal after party $200.00 ____________________________ Signature of citing official ** FAILURE TO PAY FINES SHALL BE CAUSE FOR REVOCATION OF ARTISTIC LICENSE ** |